Finding Work You Love
I coach many people who are ready to quit a job they hate, or transition to a job that brings them more purpose and joy. In fact, it’s often the realization that their job isn’t making them happy that leads people to reach out for coaching.
Over the summer, I was at a gathering of women where we each shared how we had changed during the pandemic. One woman said, “I finally learned to slow down. And I’m going to stay slowed down.” Another said, “No one knows it yet, but I’m going to quit the job that I hate.” Still others spoke of permanently working from home, or cutting hours to have more time with their kids.
Covid-19 forced us all to reconsider our work lives. For some, this meant the terror and stress of losing a job. For others, it meant trying to work and virtual school kids. And add to that the stress of trying to stay safe in a pandemic where we did not understand the virus and not everyone was following the safety rules.
It is no wonder that we are now faced with what some have termed The Great Recession.
When given time to step out of hustle culture, many people re-evaluate whether they want to step back in.
As my friend Brenda recently put it:
“We live in a culture that prioritizes busy.… It is a toxic culture.”
All of this is making people think about whether they actually love their life and how much of that life is tied to their job.
In coaching my clients, the story I usually hear is that you were on a path; you’ve achieved a lot of success, but there’s something not right. You’re now between 32 and 57 and you don’t love your work. Maybe you did once, when you were younger and hungry for experience, but now it’s kind of soulless drudgery. You know there’s a better career out there for you, but you can’t see what it is because there’s a giant boulder blocking the path and you can’t get around it.
Generally, people have two primary boulders blocking their forward progress:
A mind-body mis-connection. It’s harder to know what you want when you are too busy to slow down and feel what you want. When you truly want something, it’s a full body experience. Think of what it’s like when fresh cookies come out of the oven. You want to eat one right away. Work can be like that too, but it takes connecting back in to feel what brings you joy.
Limiting beliefs. We have thousands of thoughts every day. Most are harmless, but some of those thoughts hold us back. For example: What if I can’t find another job? What if I hate it? How will I know that what feels like the right next step really is the right next step? It’s all so scary, I think I’ll just stay here in this safe place that I don’t really love. It’s fine. Maybe I’m just not meant to be happy. (Oof - it pains me even to type those thoughts. You are meant to be happy!)
What I do as a coach is help you get from where you are now to where you want to be. We explore the boulder. How big is it? What’s it made of? What do you need to move it? We envision what the path looks like on the other side - and maybe even explore the destination.
And, importantly, we ask what is the opportunity cost of not finding a way around the boulder?
What happens if you don’t change?
Usually the answer is that staying the same is no longer acceptable because you deserve to live the life you want to have. (FWIW, this is often why you reached out for coaching in the first place).
What are the possibilities if you DO change?
I can help you reconnect to yourself so that we can figure out together what you love, what your unique strengths are, how you want to live your life, and what change looks like when it’s all put together. This insight tells you whether you should quit your job, what job you should have, or what you should do with your life.
Then together we can move the boulder and get you on the path towards the life you want.