When Intention Meets Attention
Hello from snowy Wisconsin, where we have decamped for the month. On my morning walks with the dog, I am reminded of how much I miss wide open spaces where I can fully see the sky. We walk and listen to the spring birds chatter, smell the nature that brings back memories of childhood winters, and marvel at the vastness of the sky. It’s peaceful and grounding.
A few weeks ago, I started my mindfulness meditation teacher training (read more here if you’re interested), and in our opening weekend, Tara Brach talked about intention and attention. Intention is what we value or what we seek. Attention puts intention into practice. For example, if our intention is to spend time with a loved one, we might begin paying attention to blocks of time we can make available.
Often, though, what we really value is not where we’re paying attention. We’re stuck in our to-do lists, or our work, or tending to others. We think we don’t have time to focus on what really matters to us. There’s a mismatch between what we value - our intention - and how we spend our time.
Sound familiar?
Look at how you are spending your time. Where have you placed your attention? What does it tell you about what you value?
Where does your life feel out of sync with what you want?
If you are feeling like your intentions and your attention are not harmonious, try this exercise.
Write down five things you paid more attention to during Covid than you did before Covid.
What did you stop paying attention to? What did you let go?
Think about what your answers to the above questions say about what you value. Are those the things you want to value? If so, great, read on. If not, write down two or three values you want to bring more to the forefront of your life.
Once you have your values list, the next step is to be intentional about paying attention to those values. This takes practice. Living the life we envision in our dreams doesn’t happen by chance. It takes intentional practice of turning our attention toward what we value, and letting go of that which we do not value.
What you practice gets stronger.
Just as lifting heavy weights builds muscle, practicing intention and attention makes it easier to stick to - and stick up for - your values, even when other things (like laundry and your to-do list) draw your attention away.
I’ll give you an example from my own life. Since the pandemic began, our family has intentionally valued our health and bolstering our immune systems. We’re eating more nourishing foods, and have developed exercise routines to help keep our bodies healthy and reduce stress.
For us, this means a daily date with our Peloton (a pandemic purchase). We value the way we feel when we ride regularly - how we have more energy and are better able to deal with, well, everything. And we’ve practiced living this value enough that it’s now second nature.
When we had to vacate our house for the renovation, we knew the Peloton was coming with us - disassembled and packed into a minivan so full it was in danger of popping like one of those cans of peanut brittle with the fake snake inside. Having it here allows us to continue to intentionally pay attention to our health in a way that serves us. It’s a daily practice of attention that allows us to live our intention of focusing on our health.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not saying this is easy. There are p-l-e-n-t-y of areas where my attention does not match my intention. Just ask my family. It’s a practice. And practice means repetition.
If you’re having trouble with this exercise, reach out. We all need help to live the life we want. We can figure it out together.
In the meantime, notice where your attention is disconnected from your intentions, and practice coming back to your intentions over and over.